Masturbation in a Relationship: Preferences and Communication

General information for adults aged 18 and over. This article does not provide an individual diagnosis or treatment plan.

Can masturbation be part of a relationship?

Yes. Having a partner does not make masturbation abnormal. People differ in whether they enjoy it and how often they choose it. See Planned Parenthood's masturbation guide for general information.

How can we talk about different preferences?

Choose a calm moment to discuss feelings, privacy and boundaries. Ask what matters to each person instead of using a survey percentage to decide what either partner should do. Neither person needs to take part in an activity or buy a product to prove affection.

What if we are considering a product together?

Discuss whether both people want to explore one, agree on a budget and respect either person's decision to stop. Our shared shopping checklist covers preferences and questions about individual products. A purchase does not guarantee a change in relationship satisfaction.

Editorially updated: October 6, 2026.